11/09/2015
Family disagreements can often be uncomfortable. We avoid them rather studiously. When we do have to face issues, discussions can become volatile. Family discord, then, seems only to harm. But I turn to the words of Pope Saint John XXIII at the opening of the Second Vatican Council on October 11, 1962.
In reference to our larger family of the Church, he said, “We feel we must disagree with [the] prophets of gloom, who are always forecasting disaster, as though the end of the world was at hand.” Pope John XXIII went on to say, “Divine Providence is leading us to a new order of human relations which [. . .] are directed toward the fulfillment of God’s superior and inscrutable designs. And everything, even human differences, leads to the greater good of the Church.”
How do you and your family handle disagreements? Do you look for how God might be leading your family to a “greater good”? Maybe these three words will help:
Prayer: Always pray. Use the Prayer Process and talk to Jesus. Talk to God the Father and ask the Father how he sees the situation or the other person. And pray for the other person, too!
Empathy: See if you can satisfactorily articulate the argument of the other person. Ask the person to give you at least three tries. Sometimes we argue on different wavelengths. No wonder we get heated!
Faithfulness: A doctor was burned-out from his practice and decided to take a sabbatical with Mother Theresa to decide what he should do next with his life. She put him in a hospital with terminal patients. One day, as Mother was making her rounds, the doctor asked Mother to pray for him that he may have clarity in his decision. Mother Theresa immediately said, “NO!” and quickly walked away. The doctor was surprised at her abruptness. However, three months later she was in his area again. He approached her, asked if she remembered him. She replied she did. He asked politely why she was so quick to say she would not pray for his vocational clarity. Mother Theresa said that it was because we are Christians and Christians do not live with clarity. We live by faithfulness.
Whether a family discussion or just two of you, prayer, empathy and faithfulness will guide you one step closer to God.
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